I believe, in life, God gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors. Every event thrown at us is for a reason. Sometimes we may not know the reasons at hand, but we learn to deal with it. These sorts of situations make us stronger, more independent people. Every person has his/ her own life altering situation that tests their strengths. At the age of thirteen, I experienced mine.
It was the night before going back to school after winter when everything changed. I was having another sleepless night so I got out of my bed to get some water and then I realized my parents were not home. It was just my brother, dog and me, in the house alone, at two in the morning. When I saw my brother’s face I immediately knew what happened even before asking what was wrong. My father had left the family for good .My mother was out looking for him in order to rectify the situation. Resolution was not possible.
Every one handles anger and sadness in different ways. My mother, brother, and I all handled this experience differently. My mom handled the divorce by talking about it to other people , my brother handled it through bouts of anger and I handled it by , not really handling it , or by staying quiet and trying to never think about it , I did not know how to deal with losing my dad and his family . I do not even know if there is a right way to deal with it. I refused to talk to dad and his family. I do not even know if there is a right way to deal with it. I refused to talk to anyone about what happened and how I felt. For the most part I kept to myself and shoed no emotions but every once in a while I would break and start to cry hysterically. This happened constantly for about a year before my mom decided to take me to see a therapist, which unfortunately never worked.
Eventually I figured out how to deal with my anger and stress. I dealt with it through exercises and working out. It was a perfect way to blast my music and clear my mind, without thinking about anything else. Working out became my escape from reality. For the first two years of my dad being out of the picture, I exercised every day and I became obsessed with losing weight and eating extremely healthy. I went from being 120 pounds to 78 pounds. I came to realize, what I was doing was not healthy at all when I started getting nauseous and not being able to sleep because of how hungry I really was, this was not a solution either.
It took me almost three years to finally get back on track and start to feel normal again. I learned how everyone my sadness and how to make myself feel better. Instead of starving myself and running five mile every day, I still ran, but I ate a balanced diet and look to surround myself with my family and friends. Even though I still think about it almost every day that goes by, I use my sadness and anger as a motivator, I use it to motivate me to do almost everything, from simple things like doing my homework to cleaning my room, I believe, if I could get through the worst experience of my life, I could get through anything. In many of one’s battles there is very little recognition on victory but we still must make the choice to fight and move on.